I'm Ambiguous, yet.

  I am already a grade 10 student, yet I still don't know what my dreams are, is that bad? is it already too late? will I still have a future? I've asked that to myself, and It answered, "If fate wants you to be indecisive, fate will then decide for you, you just have to make it." Then I realized, it's still not enough, I can't decide if I know less, this knowledge that I appreciate and they gave, I have to struggle to have more. But will it make me happy? My dad told me, "pick a course that you will not regret picking, a course that will give you joy and still happy to picked it after a long time.", and I should.

  For now, appreciating beautiful novels or stories is what I find fun, and also studying. After reading El Filibusterismo, I was amazed that how the Author wrote, how a Filipino can do such a thing, it's not that I doubt Filipinos, I was just ignorant I guess. And that is the problem with me, being ignorant, that's why I can't decide what course will I take, and what kind of dream should I dream. I had been thinking about these kind of stuffs since grade 8.

  My family, always suggests me to become a Soldier, a Businessman, an It, Seaman, a Nurse. But I never really know the purpose of those, and what do they do, they never told me, also in School, they never taught me such things, and they expect me to answer on what will I become in the future, why am I so ignorant? Here I am, studying so that I'll know what I'll choose that I will never regret choosing it. 

  For now, I would like to be a writer and a Philosopher, since just by reading such beautiful work of Rizal, I've been influenced easily. But sadly, only a little part of 2 subjects teaches us on how to write. But, I believe, whenever they made us do poems, I'm pretty good at it. I really love to have a happy life someday, but can't let dreams be dreams, I have to go to school.

  I also believe that for every man created, there is a future awaits him/her. And I'm like that, for now I have a dream, but not that big, but I believe this will become bigger and bigger as time passes, and there is a future for me, a superb future, maybe it has been made, I just can't see it, but I shouldn't, where's the fun in that? Maybe tomorrow, my dream will be to discover the world's secrets or truth, maybe I really thought of that as a dream. I shouldn't really worry about it, since I have so much time.

  We have so much time, It is up to us to use it properly or waste it.

source of image: https://www.hormonesmatter.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/not-knowing.jpg

To us, 117 years from now.

  I thought of that as a normal day, since it's my 4th time celebrating such event, the foundation day. It's just amazing that it is already its 117th one. So many preparations had been made, many efforts, and sweat, so I thought it would have been selfish if I don't go. It's the day when the school was found, and I love my school. Maybe it wasn't that normal, was it?

  I woke up early, time? still good. I could still watch some contents I thought, but actually my body is excited to dance, though most of us didn't like that for a field demo. Then, I took a nice bath, put on my korean style outfit, then went straight to school. But man, I would really loved to dance more if Joachim was there, but she had a contest again, I wished her luck. I got in my room, and there I saw boys taping their sticks, girls doing salon stuffs lol, but we were ready for the parade and ready to get that discipline award. 

  The parade was long, but we didn't get tired, it was a fun walk, we tried to be disciplined as an owl, but who won the discipline award seemed more disciplined. What I also love about the parade was when we got to shout our yell again, "Martinelli!, Shinzou Sasageyo" not sure about the spelling but it means Give your Hearts Martinelli! 

  Then we waited for hours before the Field-Demo, we were gonna lose anyway, since our performance or theme is not suited for field-demo. But it wasn't about winning or losing it's about how we perform for the event, how we should appreciate the school, and how we love it. But most of us were mad because of how long the awarding was. There, the field-demo started, I believe it's almost 3pm that time, there the ending or closing of our grade 10 boys performance, we raise all our white flag, and I thought it was a surrender, haha. But still it was good dancing my favorite type of dance, which is Hip Hop, but sadly Joachim, wasn't there, I was sad like 10% lol.

  I hope that next Foundation Day, more activities will be made to not bore students during awarding. As much as I hate the awarding, we actually won 4th Best Ndep Corner, and Cleanest Greenest section, Congrats again Matinelli! I hope also that there will be all kinds of booths, it's more fun that way, I believe.

  

Last High School Day From Junior High School, I guess.

source of image 1: Shane Ashley Abero, from Markov

source of image 2: Yours truly, taken by Charlotte Patubo from Markov

Kannawidan

  Kannawidan Festival is celebrated annually by Ilocanos. It is to let the youth to know more about Ilocos Sur's beautiful cultures and traditions, as well as products made in the province. And to let the adults reflect on what was essential then, and now, to appreciate again the beauty of what the province have.

   Kannawidan is celebrated to appreciate and to love what our ancestors left for us to carry in our present and future lifestyle. To pass these cultures and traditions to the next generations, our hope for the future, and let them stare and embrace what was left for them.

   Kannawidan has many new and old, helpful things that we can learn from. It has many activities that is worth to join to, or watch. Celebrities that perform to their fans. Bands that sing for us Ilocanos. Showcase of wonderful products, and so much more.

   I believe, Kannawidan is the time to reflect or to know what our dear province is all about , what our dear Ilocos citizens are capable of, how and what. It's to respect to who deserves respect on making this Festival exist, to respect our ancestors' beloved creations.

"To Forget one's ancestor is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root."

source of image: https://www.google.com/search?q=kannawidan+insights&rlz=1C1CHBF_enPH803PH803&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiC68TIitfgAhXJtY8KHeorA-YQ_AUIDigB&biw=1242&bih=597#imgrc=bNmPQO3EEqwd8M:

source of quote: https://www.google.com/search?q=quotes+about+ancestors&rlz=1C1CHBF_enPH803PH803&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwixw-eni9fgAhUCT48KHQtCB6IQ_AUIDigB&biw=1242&bih=553#imgrc=j3pq9ISKEZ1xmM:

 

 

Look at Yourself

  We always tell to ourselves that it is up for people who has power to make a "change" that leads us to think that they are fine with it and don't need our help. And it slowly remove our guts to actually help them. And it will lead us to complaining whenever they fail. But, can we actually blame them? Did we once asked to ourselves, that they forbade us to help them? No we didn't and no, they never forbade us, come on it is change we're talking about.

  The world suffers in various ways, yet we always depend on them. This is the problem to us people, we always depend on people that we believe stronger than us, but in reality we were the reasons why they got their position, and we all are strong in our own ways and can be stronger than they are, but we are just too dumb to believe that.

  Sure we know that "change" right now is essential, and will be the greatest achievement done in history. But how can we achieve such thing if we ourselves can't even do something about and just talk and talk but no work at all? How about we start by ourselves? My friend Jasper told me that you have to understand yourself first then only by then can you understand others. It's very basic, even a 5 year old can understand such words. We shouldn't just depend on others, believe in ourselves shall we? Let ourselves change and do something right and just to achieve "change". I believe I myself can achieve change, just by starting by myself. Failure is inevitable if that persists, try again, believe in yourself and it will be possible.

"Great Things Never Came From Comfort Zones"

source of image: https://exploringyourmind.com/stars-think-fleeting-ones-not/

Another Mountain?

  Keep Your Mind Open To Opportunities. They Are Closer Than You Think

  Should I start from the beginning again, I would like to carry my failures and lessons to pass this another mountain. To gain more in the future is to learn from the past. In life, it shouldn't be necessary to always be constant, in order to achieve new, you might want to go a higher.

  Since I was born, there should be a thing that is waiting for me, waiting for me to achieve that, and for all the seconds of my life I am moving towards it. Now if that thing has more to it, there's nothing wrong to go beyond that.

  New years taught me that it doesn't matter if I can't be new from what I am now, as long as I go higher and higher and go beyond that thing, it never ends. See, opportunities we create never ends, whenever the year ends, another year opens another opportunity for us to move toward success. 

  New years help me to have another 12 months of chances, and is up to me to decide on how I use them. 2019 can be the same as the previous years, but it helps me continue what I didn't yet finish, it grabs my hand to continue climbing to get to the top of the another mountain that has new lessons, chances, mistakes to give. Cheers for the new opportunities! I thank 2018 for this, I'll make sure I'll never forget them. 

   

source of image: https://www.wildapricot.com/blogs/newsblog/2015/10/26/take-a-hike-through-our-new-themes

3rd; Perception

  I would like to share the things I learned from 3rd quarter, ICT and appreciate it. I thought that I already saw the beauty of computer technology, but I was wrong, the beauty was so soon I had to go deep. I realized this 3rd grading that I had only dug a fragment of everything and still has a long way to go. But in order to succeed, start from the bottom.

  

This grading was a rush, especially after the holidays, so many requirements to be passed, so many time to spend. It is our responsibility anyway, we can't just run from it. I was still happy that I as a student has a subject like ICT, I appreciate the things I learn, see from it, and hoping that I will use it through my life.

 I learned how to do web page design, tiring yet fun. After typing many words in the notepad, then opening it at google, there I saw how wonderful it is to command using only fingers. It goes how you wanted it to go, that's how I see the beauty of it. I didn't even had to memorize all the basic tags, it just connects with me as if they see me as a Captain.

  

Since this grading was a rush, I found it hard to find time in everything, I prioritize what is good for everyone, and is a good thing that I see. I had to do unnecessary things for the work to progress, and forget some responsibilities that can wait, I somehow found myself distracted, stressed. I told to myself that I should rest, and I should do good. I also had to rush many requirements yet late, but didn't felt regret, because I was happy that the decisions I made is how I perceive it good.

 Here the 3rd grading ends, I'm a bit happy that I finally made it this far, and a bit sad because endings aren't always a happy ending. I'm happy that the decisions I made lead to this future, I'm happy that I made them, even if there were regrets and pain. I'm happy that I could appreciate even just a speck of things that can complete my destiny. How I see and feel is different from the way you see and feel. Appreciate everything like I did and do what you see good.

source of image: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/361132463862625968/