I'm Ambiguous, yet.

  I am already a grade 10 student, yet I still don't know what my dreams are, is that bad? is it already too late? will I still have a future? I've asked that to myself, and It answered, "If fate wants you to be indecisive, fate will then decide for you, you just have to make it." Then I realized, it's still not enough, I can't decide if I know less, this knowledge that I appreciate and they gave, I have to struggle to have more. But will it make me happy? My dad told me, "pick a course that you will not regret picking, a course that will give you joy and still happy to picked it after a long time.", and I should.

  For now, appreciating beautiful novels or stories is what I find fun, and also studying. After reading El Filibusterismo, I was amazed that how the Author wrote, how a Filipino can do such a thing, it's not that I doubt Filipinos, I was just ignorant I guess. And that is the problem with me, being ignorant, that's why I can't decide what course will I take, and what kind of dream should I dream. I had been thinking about these kind of stuffs since grade 8.

  My family, always suggests me to become a Soldier, a Businessman, an It, Seaman, a Nurse. But I never really know the purpose of those, and what do they do, they never told me, also in School, they never taught me such things, and they expect me to answer on what will I become in the future, why am I so ignorant? Here I am, studying so that I'll know what I'll choose that I will never regret choosing it. 

  For now, I would like to be a writer and a Philosopher, since just by reading such beautiful work of Rizal, I've been influenced easily. But sadly, only a little part of 2 subjects teaches us on how to write. But, I believe, whenever they made us do poems, I'm pretty good at it. I really love to have a happy life someday, but can't let dreams be dreams, I have to go to school.

  I also believe that for every man created, there is a future awaits him/her. And I'm like that, for now I have a dream, but not that big, but I believe this will become bigger and bigger as time passes, and there is a future for me, a superb future, maybe it has been made, I just can't see it, but I shouldn't, where's the fun in that? Maybe tomorrow, my dream will be to discover the world's secrets or truth, maybe I really thought of that as a dream. I shouldn't really worry about it, since I have so much time.

  We have so much time, It is up to us to use it properly or waste it.

source of image: https://www.hormonesmatter.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/not-knowing.jpg